Monday, 11 May 2015

60

since i made this blog, this is a 60 post of the entire posts.
You know i still give nothin' for you guys, either i still give nothin' for my self, like build a life.
still nothing.

ang now today, i felt so worse, so tired of someone loving person right there.
people said when we love someone, it must be you love whole of their life, their past, circumferences, intuition, exactly the whole of their life.
but me...

i feel like, love him makes me so so suck. i hate very much of his intuition. they've changed my only one.
and unfortunately, i can't accept it. i can't, pretty sure i can't, hows that:")


seems like i didn't love him as they are am i? it's not as easy as like that. I've tried, and the result?
I TIRED. it so suck my life, he even can't like say hello back for me, i miss him he's not there, he's somewhere i didn't know where. but when he back and miss me, i always, always, be there.
when he get downs or somethin like that, i will, cheering him.
but when i need a single text a simple sentence in that time i just really really miss him. He missed out.
i even can't describe what does it feels. can't. so deep.

i tell him to not phone me, or text me anymore cz im so desperated, he just keep saying stay still for him. don't you feel what i feel? i'm so tired, tireeeeeeeeeeeeeed. i just want to be alone, i don't even need his text or phone or whatever that is, i can make it by myself alone. But the worst mistake, i assume this decisions i made, is the one of reason for build a life. I quit for the dwelling zone, the comfort zone. i just have to do it.
I love you, and don't know what to do. For us.
Maybe this is the last post for you, maybe, i let 60 make a new one, without you.

60 xoxo

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Maira Gall