What is it?

You know, whenever i feel so sore i always get my self make some words about how it was happens. Just like right now. I feel so nervous yet so peace after i took that files on Her table. I don't want to be drop out actually. That words obviously out from my deepest heart, though my mind said the other way from it.

But it's okay, i trust my deepest heart. The pure decision. The very less false. And it always make me move for something about what my heart already told. I do it almost nothing challenges. So smooth so clearly happy. Not too smooth tho.

And the other things makes me confused.  About my friends, i got lunch with them this day. My mind says i don't want to be separated from them. They were so kind, soooo care. I love you guys. But it more confusing to take a look my reaction while i'm around them. I feel wanna go, don't want to join or something. I don't know why but i hate it. It shows with my gesture and everything else. I hate it. Sure.

Why i always like this, didn't useful and hurt the one that i loved? i feel i hurt them. Being not contributed, not socialize and everything. i hurt them and it makes my self poor of relation. I tried to resist that feeling that brings me a loneliness but again and again. I feel i need to be just with my self at the moment.

I feel i want to make sure that my self quite ready for shows the ready me. Am i wrong?
maybe you'd say so. It's okay.
I also would change the way i think about it. That was worst, i know. But ya, this is my journey. I have to learn and makes my own self understood the reason why it was happens to me. I'm grateful enough to have such a problem in this age and around this lovely people. I learn, and i will do. Ya, I do.

Thankyou for being there UKM jalan-jalan

Novraps